Diamond Dave’s Faves

A Beer for Every Palate

There isn’t one beer that I can single out as my favorite beer.
Like wine, different beers fill different niches of my palate.
Factors, such as what I am eating, the setting, day versus night,
indoor versus outdoors, and warm weather versus cold weather, need
to be taken into consideration when selecting the right beer. As a
result, I have summarized my favorite beers for a number of
different scenarios below:

For a warm, sunny day at the beach? Tecate

On a cold winter night? Guinness

A crisp sunny day? Fat Tire

During poker night with the bros?
Firestone Double Barrel Ale

With sushi? Kirin Ichiban

When we’re hosting a BBQ? Coors

If you’re throwing a “kegger”? Sierra Nevada Pale
Ale

When I’m feeling adventurous?
Samuel Smith’s Organic Lager

When I’m trying to impress a lady?
Chimay

Trying to relive my youth? Lucky
Lager

Before a hip-hop show? Mickey’s 40oz.

And Now: Dave’s Tongue-in-Cheek Rave

My favorite beer is Heineken.

Nothing captures the taste of morning breath, or skunk butt
better than the Heiny. I will always enjoy the acid reflux that
immediately ensues after the first swig. I have been meaning to ask
the brewers if they use the juice of a Duracell or Energizer in the
brewing process. Nothing makes a morning more enjoyable than a
12-pack of Heiny from the night before.

A heat wave in the desert cannot induce the extreme dehydration
one feels as he/her opens his/her mouth for the first time in the
morning. Nor can a blow to the head with a blunt object recreate
the throbbing cranial sensation of a Heineken hangover. So next
time you’re at a bar or a quickie mart and are not sure which
bottle of brew is going to suite you, go for a Heineken. You’ll
regret it!