Of Lads and Ladies

Kelsey Brugger’s excellent article on the sex and rape scene in Isla Vista just blew me away. I used to believe that nothing ever changes, but no longer. Young men of college age are still at the peak of their biological urges, with development of their minds and values coming along later … or never. But, young women of college age in years past were for the most part discreet, modest, and sober; however, much of this has changed, perhaps forever.

Driving through Isla Vista any evening, say after 8 p.m., you can witness numbers of young women walking along to restaurants, shopping, and so on, many wearing tight tees and short shorts. Think about the drunken frat house parties, where these same young women will be fair game, and lads looking for easy sex are in full chase! It is indeed sad.

Many years ago, my parents cautioned me, “The girl sets the pace.” In other words, no decent boy would ever force his attentions on any girl. I submit that this may still be true. But, those young females who forget, or don’t know, how to conduct themselves in public put themselves at great risk of forcible rape, or even worse!

Blame the victim? Always an easy out. Unfortunately, many of these women must share some of the responsibility for their own questionable conduct and appearance.

If asked today, I would counsel them: 1) Always wear clothing and makeup that are in good taste; 2) Have a fun time, but stay sober; 3) Attend social events with at least two girlfriends, and keep together all evening; 4) If you drink, don’t set your drink down or accept one from a stranger; 5) Think about the impact on your future if you make foolish choices today; and, 6) If you’re confused, seek adult counsel, preferably from your parents, or an older sibling.