The Science of Love

Fellas, don’t be fooled this Valentine’s Day. There’s more to
romance than a box of chocolates, flowers in a vase, and playing
footsies under the dining room table. Let’s face it. It’s really
not the thought that counts when you’re trying to woo your special
someone. It’s the science behind the thought that counts. You
always wondered when you’d ever use those high school science
classes. Well, time to dust off that chemistry textbook and rifle
through those biology notes. But, don’t worry, I’ll start you off
with some unofficial Cliff Notes.

Serotonin Serotonin is a brain chemical, a neurotransmitter that
reduces your partner’s stress levels and allows her to feel
positive and comforted. Your wife’s serotonin levels increase when
you compliment her and when she feels provided for and has her
needs met. So, being sure to tell her she looks lovely on February
14 or having made dinner (and clean-up) arrangements can actually
change her brain chemistry for the good.

Oxytocin Oxytocin is a hormone, sometimes known as “the cuddle
chemical.” It’s the key to lasting romance. When oxytocin levels
increase, passion builds. Oxytocin increases when we touch. It’s
been well documented that new moms’ levels of the hormone increase
while nursing. Well, the same applies as a result of touch between
partners, too. When we hug, hold hands, massage, or become
intimate, oxytocin levels rise, endorphins are released, and in
turn, we feel the need to touch the person who’s touched us. It
becomes a never-ending, giant, oxytocin-induced touch cycle that
leads to more romance. So, go ahead … touch the woman, for God’s
sake!

Endorphins Endorphins are the neurotransmitters that our brains
release to reward us for good behavior. When we win, laugh,
exercise, have sex, or fall in love, endorphins are released. It’s
why we want to continue winning, laughing, exercising, having sex,
and falling in love. Endorphins motivate and energize us. They make
us feel happy and alive. When you support your sweetheart and
romance her, her oxytocin and serotonin levels increase, which
leads to endorphins being released in her brain. Thus, she feels
terrific due to your attempts at romance. In other words, sweep her
off her feet this Valentine’s Day. Show her through your actions
that she is your one and only.

Men’s Chemistry Don’t think that only women are biochemically
tied to romance. When you attempt to romance your partner (you send
the kids to Grandma’s and prepare a candlelight dinner before she
gets home from work), you become anxious wondering if your attempts
will be successful. If they are, you feel appreciated and dopamine
levels rise. Suddenly, because you’ve attempted and succeeded in
romance, you’re feeling motivated and energized. As a result, the
levels of testosterone (the hormone of desire) increase. You become
caring and compassionate, which releases endorphins, and here we
are, back again at happiness and contentment.

So, this Valentine’s Day, when you’re working that mojo of
yours, realize that not only are you building a deeper connection
between you and your valentine, but you’re actually affecting her
(and your own) brain chemistry in a positive and refreshing way.
Love is a science. It’s chemical, physiological, and hormonal. And
the cool thing about romance is that experimentation is not limited
to just one day a year. The doors to the laboratory of love are
open all year ’round.

4·1·1 Leon Scott Baxter is author of Nine Months of Romance and
Out of the Doghouse: A Man’s Secret Survival Guide to Romance.
Visit DogHouseFree.com or info@doghousefree.com; call 570-3213.