And So It Begins …

Misogynists Are Already Crawling Outta Their Hovels

Young women activists | Credit: Karolina Grabowska, Pexels.com

It starts like this: Young men standing on a local freeway bridge waving signs that say, “YOUR BODY, MY CHOICE.” A dude strolling Carpinteria in a T-shirt bearing the same phrase. High-school boys texting it to female classmates.

The phrase is a derisive flip of “my body, my choice” (see what they did there?), which feminists chanted for reproductive freedom in the 1960s … and again recently as we lost that hard-won right.

Co-opting it as an endorsement of rape culture is gross, but it shouldn’t be surprising. When you elect a convicted felon who’s been found liable for sexual assault, who brags about grabbing beauty contestants’ vaginas, and who calls his opponents bitches, you send a strong signal that this is all acceptable — even entertaining — behavior.

The phrase’s origin appears to be an election-night post on X by a popular white-nationalist, anti-Semitic podcaster whose name will never appear in my column. But just as with Trump, the problem isn’t the moronic utterances themselves; it’s the confounding swaths of Americans believing them, repeating them — and seeing them as permission.

Said mouth-breathers wasted no time demonstrating their understanding of Trump’s win: As a license, or even a mandate, to remind women who’s boss (reminders to immigrants, people of color, and LGBTQ+ folks will come later; the Right is still workshopping the offensive slogans — please stand by).

A therapist friend of mine says that men typically behave this way due to a deep-seated fear of women and a desire to regain control; a yen to impress other douchebags (clinical term); and a victim mentality perpetually in search of scapegoats for their displaced rage.

Sounds about right. At least they’re proving our point that reproductive rights were only ever about control — not morality.

Whatever the diagnosis, know this: Public proclamations that women’s bodies are up for grabs require a response. In fact, every single power-diminishing, rights-quashing action taken or inspired by our new President is going to require a response.

And it starts. Right. Now.

I know you need downtime from the crushing disappointments of that election. It’ll be years before I understand how Donald Trump doesn’t trigger a gag reflex in most Americans — that they, in fact, find him trustworthy, competent and even charismat#&+>@ (apologies, I thought I could get through that, but I puked on my keyboard).

And it would be easy to dismiss this first Campaign of Belittlement as a bad joke. Bro-dudes are already doing that on social: It’s low-hanging troll fodder, ignore it. It’s just aggressive flirting — no more than shouting “Show me your %!ts” at Mardi Gras.

It might have been any of those things — if it had started in October. But make no mistake: Having launched on the Election Night of a person (“man” is a strong word) who regularly calls women “dirty,” “dumb,” “crazy,” “horseface” and “retarded,” YOUR BODY, MY CHOICE is a direct threat. And your silence is complicity.

So I ask you, my feminist friends: What will you do when you see these men and their signs, T-shirts, and texts to your daughters? How will you react?

The best response I’ve seen: “Your face, my mace.” But then, I have a proclivity for rhyme.

Perhaps you’ll ask them to explain their hilarious joke. To help you understand if you are in fact under siege or if you can go about the business of living your life without fretting that their “choices” could involve light groping in the grocery checkout line.

Maybe you’ll wave and say, “OMG, hi! You don’t remember me, do you? Your mom introduced us a few years back … Does she know you like to assault women? I owe her a call.”

Will you accidentally trip, dumping your fuchsia Starbucks refresher across their offending chests with a dumb-girl “oopsie whoopsie”? Or offer your therapist’s business card?

Will you engage with them long enough to find out why violence gives them a big-boy boner? Or help them deduce why they’re never invited to interact with women’s bodies … when it’s her choice?

Whatever you do, please don’t be silent — be ready. March. Yell. Speak up. And face down the bullies. Because this is only the beginning. Trump’s minions now control the White House, the Supreme Court, and Congress. But you still control the two most important weapons in the war on respect and decency:

Your body. Your voice.