What I Like About Being Old

What is best about being old?
I no longer need to do what I’m told.
Younger people open doors
and smile at me when I visit stores.

Nobody tells me I must clean my plate
I can sleep until noon and go to bed late
or spend all day just reading a book.
I can go out to eat if I don’t want to cook.

I get a senior discount when I go to a show
but if I don’t want to, I don’t have to go.
My grandkids think I’m a saint without sin
though my children barely hide their chagrin.

I’ve pretty much made every mistake
drank too much vodka, ate too much cake
danced until dawn and lost the next day
paying the price most revelers pay.

Best of all — no more nine to five
and I’m constantly grateful I am still alive.