Disneyland’s Village Haus

When Mickey Force Feeds, It’s Hard to Swallow

I am more than willing to pay over $230 hard-earned clams (not
including parking) for the opportunity to tell the world that I
took my family of four to the Happiest Place on Earth (that would
be Disneyland for all of you hermits). Sure, it’s a pretty penny, but worth
sharing this American rite of passage with my daughters. But
there’s one thing I won’t stand for, and that’s the powers that be
forcing me to buy Mickey’s food.

“If you’ve brought your own food and beverage to the park,” a
voice on the Lion King Tram announced, (and I’m paraphrasing here),
“stuff your face now, because that tuna salad ain’t making it down
Main Street.”

I asked a Disney employee to explain to me the logic of making
me eat my meal before entering the park. With the courtesy only
Disney employees can muster, “Because we sell food and beverage,
too. By having your own, we lose revenue.” Guess the $15 5×7 photos
of me and Goofy just aren’t making ends meet.

You know, I did notice that Disneyland also sold sunglasses,
visors, sweatshirts, socks, make-up…stop me when you’ve had
enough. Using the food and beverage logic, it seems reasonable that
they’ll be enforcing a dress code in the near future: “Sorry,
you’ll have to remove your eyeliner, boxer shorts, wedding ring,
and cover those tattoos. We sell them all here at the Magic
Kingdom.”

Well, I wasn’t about to let their all-powerful sounding tram
voice stop me. I stashed my fruit salad and Goldfish in my wife’s
backpack (no way, I’m risking getting kicked out of Disneyland) in
an attempt to smuggle in our edible contraband.

Long story short, they do this silly check of your bags for
weapons or bombs or something, which apparently results in a day
with no Goldfish and you find yourself in Fantasyland eating
eight-dollar cheeseburgers at the Village Haus. For a family of four, we spent a
little under $30 for lunch at this WunderCafe. The burgers were
fine, a bit bready.The fries were edible but so droopy that the
kids left some on the tray. The kids’ meals were actually pretty
wunderbah. Our three-year-old woofed down her bucket o’ mac and
cheese. The seven-year old hit the motherlode with her chicken
tenders meal: crispy, tasty, warm, and plentiful, all that
Disneyland stands for.

By throwing in a container of applesauce and a bag of seven
dwarf-like carrots, The Village Haus qualified as a Healthy Disney
eatery (designated by an apple on the Mickey Map).

So, on a scale of 1 – 10, The Village Haus ranks a seven on
flavor, price, value, service, and cleanliness, but I wish they
would add Goldfish (little Pinocchio Figuero Fish would be
great).

Until, they do, I will still try to pull one over on the Man,
er, the Mouse. I plan on taping our lunch to my torso under my
sweatshirt on our next visit. Just keep your fingers cross that
they let me keep my sweatshirt.

The Details: The VIllage Haus is located in the Fantasyland
neighborhood of Disneyland, a small, magic kingdom within the
borders of the City of Anaheim.