Thoughts on these Times of Turning

Reflecting on the New Year and Welcoming New Perspectives

Radhule Weininger is reflecting on the year ahead and how to widen our perspectives | Photo: Courtesy

Even though it was lovely to see kids, friends, and family over the holidays, I sensed an underlying unease concerning the greater societal climate, intermingled with future angst. In between holiday happenings and good cheer, conversations veered to the election results, choices made for key roles in the government, and what the consequences might be for all of us. These exchanges soaked up long stretches of our time together and I began to wonder how we might better use our energy.

Many of us are upset and even frightened by what we see and read. This causes us to either shut down or to become emotionally reactive. There is a third option that I suggest is a wiser response. Although I think that there is value in being well-informed and in grasping the greater political picture, I see that our consciously chosen attitude toward all of life amidst the uncertainty matters just as much. To be clear, this is not an either/or but a both/and.

You might wonder what I mean by “attitude toward all of life.”

Before answering this question, I would like to make an important distinction. There is a difference between what happens in the world outside of ourselves and the quality of our inner world. Writer Anaïs Nin said, “We don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.” The quality of our inner atmosphere determines how we receive, integrate, and make meaning of the impressions that bombard us from all sides.

When our inner being is rooted in a sense of calm and permeated with open-heartedness and kindness, we are able to deal with difficult situations and information that come our way. We can hold onto a sense of care and warmth and kindness. However, if we are upset internally with overwhelm and frustration, when we are out of balance, we are much more prone to panic or polarization or even acting out.

So, how do we take our fate into our own hands and slowly cultivate this quieter inner atmosphere? It is important to understand that “inner” does not really refer to a place inside our skin-encapsulated self. “Inner” refers to a place deeper than outside events and fleeting phenomena. This place is in fact timeless, formless, yet deep, knowing, and benign. The Dalai Lama calls it the “Field of Benevolence.” We can imagine what many call “the great mystery” as the sky beyond the clouds, or as the ocean beyond the waves. When we reach the experience level of “sky-ness,” we are connected to a particular quality of being, in an experience that feels spacious and filled with comfort. As we open up to this sacred level of being, we find we can be with ourselves, others, and our world with much more empathy and care. Then, we don’t feel so personally implicated by what goes on “out there.” As we grow larger, our personal anxiety can dissolve some as we can stay watchful of communal, national, and world events, but hold compassion for those around us.

Here are some practical tips that help us keep (at least some of the time) grounded as well as open to this deeper ground:

First, it helps to hold a “heart’s intention,” meaning a heartfelt longing for this experience. The first American psychologist William James said, “What we pay attention to becomes reality.” Therefore, as we give our longing for depth and peace more importance, it is more likely that we will find our path to more depth and peace.

Second, we need to let awareness drop down from our thinking, “fore-head” mind into our body as a whole. When we give up our controlling, rational ego-mind for a little while, we experience a different way of being. Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve our problems with the same mind that created them.” Allowing awareness to sink into a deeper place than our cerebral cortex is the way to allow for a more whole and heartfelt perspective.

Third, we need to allow ourselves to be drawn into the gaps, the openings, into what is spacious in between events. This might mean the gap between an out-breath and the next in-breath, or the gap between thoughts. When we allow ourselves to rest, even for a moment, into the spaciousness of such an aperture, a new perspective can open up to a space that is limitless and vast in its nature.

This newly found space gives our heart the freedom to feel in a warm and caring way. This freedom allows us to realize that we are not separate beings, pegged against one another, but instead, interconnected in the web of life. Instead of reacting or defending a political side or bringing on a fight, this freedom guides us by an inner voice of wisdom and compassion. We can breathe again and find common ground.

To guide us on our way this year, I am reminded of two lovely heartfelt verses by a Tibetan Buddhist and by a Catholic wise person.

Shantideva, more than a thousand years ago, gave us the following words: “May I be the protector to all those without protection, A leader, for all those who journey, A boat, a bridge, a passage for all those desiring the further shore. May the pain of every living creature be completely cleared away. May I be the doctor and the medicine; may I be the nurse for all sick beings in the world, until everyone is healed. Just like space, and the great elements such as Earth, may I always support the life of all boundless creatures, until they pass away from pain. May I also be the source of life for all the realms of varied beings that reach into the end of space. In this limitless spaciousness, is the play of compassion.”

And St. Francis of Assisi told us in a similar way: “Lord make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love, Where there is injury, pardon, Where there is doubt, faith, Where there is despair, hope, Where there is darkness, light, And where there is sadness, joy. Oh divine master, Grant that I do not seek to be consoled, but to console, To be understood, as to understand, To be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, It is pardoning that we are pardoned, And it is dying that we are born to eternal life.”

The task for this year is to remember that a very wide perspective, whether built around a live compassionate space or around a religious figure, is a field of care for us all, and that every living being is included.

Radhule Weininger, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice and a founder of Mindful Heart Programs. She has been a student and teacher of mindfulness, compassion, and non-dual awareness practices since 1981. See mindfulheartprograms.org, and radhuleweiningerphd.com.