In a world that glorifies hustle and celebrates busyness, it’s easy to get swept up in the idea that urgency equals
importance. But one thing is clear: A lack of preparation on your part does not give you the right to hijack my time
and turn your crisis into my problem. This isn’t about being unkind or unhelpful; it’s about boundaries, respect, and
the importance of personal responsibility.
As a business coach, I often hear that what puts people in a bind or a state of pure panic has nothing to do with
them and everything to do with another person’s lack of planning. Some examples include a coworker scrambling in
at the last minute, frantically dumping their tasks onto your desk, claiming a looming deadline. Or maybe it’s a
friend who perpetually needs a last-minute favor, assuming you’ll pick up the pieces. Whether in professional settings or personal relationships, we face people who prioritize their comfort over our peace, expecting us to swoop in and fix what they failed to plan for.
Emergencies do happen, and life gets real “life-y” a lot. But there’s a big difference between genuine emergencies
and the avoidable chaos that stems from procrastination, poor planning, or neglecting to think ahead. The problem
arises when someone else’s lack of forethought is repeatedly treated as a reason to make their needs more urgent than your priorities.
This statement — “Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part” — is a powerful
reminder that we are not obligated to overextend ourselves just because someone else has failed to manage their
responsibilities. It’s not about rejecting compassion, but rather about rejecting the idea that other people’s
mismanagement should derail our time and energy. The following are three areas for you to consider.
Respecting Your Boundaries
Boundaries are an essential part of any healthy interaction. When we say no to unnecessary emergencies caused by
someone else’s lack of planning, we’re not just preserving our time — we’re enforcing respect. It signals that we
value our own commitments, our own mental bandwidth, and our own plans enough to protect them.
There’s a tendency to feel guilty for not stepping in, for not fixing someone’s last-minute problems. But how fair
is it to you? By constantly being the “fixer,” you not only enable that person’s behavior, but you also diminish the
value of your own time and priorities. Every time you drop what you’re doing to manage someone else’s avoidable
crisis, you’re sacrificing your peace, productivity, and sometimes even your sanity. We teach people how to treat us
ALL. THE. TIME.
If the situation is recurring, clearly communicate that their lack of planning shouldn’t create an unnecessary burden
on you or others. Example responses: “Let’s work through this together, but going forward, it might be helpful to
double-check deadlines and anticipate potential issues” or “While we need to address this immediately, could we
discuss how to prevent similar situations from arising in the future?”
Just say no. Sometimes it’s okay to assert your needs over others. “Thank you for asking for help. I need to say no
because I need to get [fill in the blank] done. Today’s plan has that blocked on my calendar until [XYZ] time. If
something changes, I’ll let you know.”
Accountability and Growth
A refusal to participate in someone’s last-minute scramble also promotes accountability. In many ways, it helps them
grow. If there are no immediate consequences to their disorganization, there’s no motivation to change. But when
their frantic attempts to drag others into their chaos are met with firm boundaries, they are forced to reconsider their approach.
It’s a necessary lesson in ownership: You are responsible for the choices you make and the consequences they
bring. By expecting others to drop everything and cater to your emergency, you’re shirking that responsibility. But
when others stand firm in their boundaries, the onus returns where it belongs: on the individual.
Protecting Your Peace
Perhaps most importantly, protecting yourself from other people’s chaotic energy is a way to safeguard your own
peace. Life is challenging enough without constantly absorbing stress that isn’t yours to bear. There’s a profound
sense of empowerment in being able to say, “This isn’t my emergency, and I won’t allow it to become one.”
In the end, standing by the principle that someone else’s lack of planning doesn’t constitute an emergency on your
part is about valuing yourself. It’s about maintaining the balance between empathy and enabling, between helping
and sacrificing. You can still be compassionate without being a doormat. You can still be kind without being taken
advantage of.
By setting clear boundaries, you empower not only yourself but also the people around you to take greater control
of their actions, choices, and consequences. Because at the end of the day, the only emergency you’re responsible for is the one that’s truly your own.
Okay, I can hear your next comment already. How do I say any of this in a respectful and honest way without
hurting their feelings? First, don’t be accusatory. Avoid phrases like “You didn’t plan properly” or “This is all your
fault.” Focus on solutions. Instead of dwelling on the lack of planning, immediately shift the conversation to finding
solutions to the current problem and go back and reread the part about respecting YOUR boundaries. You got this!
Sara Caputo transforms how individuals, teams, and small businesses navigate workflow and increase workplace
efficiency. Her work has been featured in Working Women, Success, and Forbes, as well as other national and
regional publications. She can be reached at sara@saracaputoconsulting.com.