Santa Barbara Couples Recount
Their Unique Nuptials
S.B. Stories: A Surprise Ceremony,
an Unexpected Venue, and
Two Weddings at One Event
By Maggie Yates | February 15, 2024
Read all of the stories in our 2024 Wedding Guide here.
Michelle and Alissa, Married 2021
“It’s outrageous!” says Michelle Howard, recalling her 2021 wedding to her longtime partner, Alissa Hummer. “Like, what a thing to do!” The casual, intimate affair in the couple’s Santa Barbara backyard was a complete surprise to Michelle, who thought the gathering was a housewarming party. Unbeknownst to her (and many of the guests!), Alissa had orchestrated an elaborate, romantic matrimonial event that included many important people in the couple’s life.
Stars aligned when several key guests were able to fly into town on the same weekend. Alissa recruited friends into service, including storyteller Michael Katz as officiant and photographer Michelle Lauren to capture the magic of the evening. She also shared her intent with their adult children. Michelle’s offpsring Adrienne was incredulous that their mother, who loves spoilers and hates surprises, would be thrilled to have a wedding sprung on her, but Alissa, who knew their tendency toward avoiding the kind of complications that come with a big wedding, wanted Michelle to enjoy herself instead of stressing about a myriad of formal details. “This is so simple,” Alissa explained. “We’d have a party, get married, and go back to the party.”
As the sun set into tawny autumn twilight, musician friends played Michelle and Alissa’s song: “Long Time with You” by Blame Sally. The lyrics include the phrase “Let’s say we do.” At this point in the song, the musicians paused for Alissa’s cue: “How about now?” she asked Michelle, effectively shifting the party’s energy from relaxed gathering to anticipatory elation. After Michelle’s shock dissipated, she happily agreed to the ceremony, and the two were married against the view of the Santa Barbara horizon. “This is the only downside,” said Michelle, pointing at a wedding photograph. “Look at the shoes I’m wearing. Hippie sandals. Comfortable, but not cute!”
Michelle and Alissa continue to throw epic pool parties at their home, affectionately called “The Perch.” While they agree that a wedding isn’t necessary to live a fulfilling life in partnership, they appreciate that their celebration was an opportunity to share their commitment to each other with their loving community.
Joe and Kim, Married 1990
Joe and Kimberlee Franken met in Santa Barbara in the ’80s. Kim was helping a friend move out of a property while Joe was helping a friend move in. “The friend that I knew,” says Joe with a laugh, “she wanted me for my body. And that was to help move furniture.”
“He had a truck and muscles,” says Kimberlee, who was immediately attracted to her future husband. At the time, Kim was a nursing student at SBCC, and Joe was the activities director at Montecito’s Casa Dorinda, one of the county’s premiere retirement communities. The two kept in touch when Kim moved home to Orange County after school, and when she moved back to Santa Barbara for a job at Cottage Hospital a few years later, she and Joe picked up where they had left off.
When the couple got married in 1990, they were faced with a unique problem: Not only did they want to invite their family and friends, but they also wanted to include the hundreds of residents at Casa Dorinda, with whom Joe had become close during his many years of employment. Many residents were active and mobile, but some did need special considerations, like wheelchair accessibility or a caregiver, making the perfect venue difficult to secure. The couple was given the opportunity to have their wedding at the beautiful grounds of Casa Dorinda, one of only three weddings in the institution’s history. “We were in our twenties and thirties, and the mindset was that those individuals were old,” says Joe. “Now that we’re old, we are those people! And now I realize that they still had the minds and desires and excitement of 40-year-olds. They wanted to party! At Casa, we always could really party.”
Current residents of Carpinteria, Kim and Joe are enjoying a new chapter in their life: retirement! And while they admit to having differing views of what this era will look like, they are excited to face it together.
Marsha and David; Gail and Alan, Married 1972
Growing up, Marsha Hill and her younger sister, Gail, were very close. As they reached adulthood, both sisters fell in love with their respective partners and decided to get married. They each planned a wedding for the summer of 1972, with the brides saying “I do” two weeks apart. But their father, a sensible man, noted that because Marsha lived in Wisconsin and Gail lived in Minnesota, most family members would have to pick one wedding or the other to attend since two consecutive out-of-state trips might pose a significant burden. He threw out a novel idea: Two sisters, two weddings, one venue, one day of revelry that everyone could attend.
When the sisters agreed, their father sprang into action. He rented the church and reception hall, ordered the cakes, and booked the caterer. Gail was married first, in the early evening. The first set of nuptials was followed by a costume change so the sisters could also serve as bridesmaids in the other’s wedding. Marsha was married later that night. Gail, a vocalist, sang at both ceremonies. The weddings, the sisters remember, were very different from each other, with Gail’s ceremony feeling laid-back compared to Marsha’s more formal affair.
After the ceremonies, the wedding parties and their guests retired to the reception hall for dancing and visiting. There were “no bridezillas and no drama,” says Marsha, and both sisters agree that given the opportunity, they wouldn’t change anything about the experience. “If there are brothers or sisters out there in the same position,” says Gail, “they should do it like we did. Smart.” The sisters are still incredibly close, though Marsha lives in Santa Barbara and Gail currently resides in Norway.
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