Mary Conrad, along with her husband, Barnaby, made a positive impact on the lives of thousands of aspiring writers through their founding of the Santa Barbara Writers Conference, a weeklong gathering of famous writers and eager students that recently celebrated its 50th anniversary.
Mary possessed a style and deep wisdom that was hers alone and that lasted for nearly nine decades. She had a magnetic personality, a lovely voice, and a gracious soul. She was elegant and generous, and her wit was legendary.
Born February 28, 1935, to a prominent family in Pasadena, California, in her youth, she was a horsewoman and an avid tennis player. She was ranked in California for 16-and-under tennis players and enjoyed following the sport throughout her life.
After attending Garrison Forrest School near Baltimore, Maryland, and Montecito School for Girls, Mary married her first husband, William A. Slater Jr., in 1953 when she was just 18. The young couple lived in postwar Germany for two years before settling in Belvedere, California, where they raised their sons, William A. Slater III and Michael A. Slater.
After her first marriage ended amicably, she married San Francisco best-selling author, artist, bullfighter, and nightclub owner Barnaby Conrad Jr. in 1963. The couple had a daughter, Kendall Conrad.
The Conrads often entertained friends and celebrities at their Victorian home in Pacific Heights, among them Bing Crosby, Lucille Ball, columnist Herb Caen, and Charlton Heston, as well as many others. In San Francisco, Mary became a well-known interior decorator in partnership with Virginia Lynch. An able hostess in social circles, Mary also enjoyed leading groups through the giant redwoods in Muir Woods.
The Conrads left San Francisco in 1973 after building a beach house on Rincon Point just south of Santa Barbara. When the Conrads moved from the Bay Area to the Rincon, a crowd of celebrities showed up regularly for weekends there. It was this connection to a world of famous and talented show-business and literary personalities that helped launch the success and longevity of the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. The first session was held at the Cate School in Carpinteria, June 1973, and then, for many years, at the old Miramar Hotel and Westmont College.
The well-worn phrase “behind every great man is a great woman” is applicable here or, to put things more succinctly, “behind every great man putting on a legendary writers conference is a great woman who is the one who really runs it.”
If not for the hard work, dedication, and amazing organizational skills of Mary Conrad, also known fondly as Mother Superior, this writers’ enclave would not have been the overwhelming success and Santa Barbara institution that it became. Every writer who has attended this conference over the years has benefited from her original vision.
Mary opened her home to so many and created memories for all who were lucky enough to share in this conviviality. She was forever in her element entertaining and was an exceptional cook.
The Conrads hosted best-selling writers and celebrities to lecture and hobnob with the several hundred avid writers each June. Among the speakers were Ray Bradbury, Christopher Isherwood, cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, comedian Jonathan Winters, James Michener, William Styron, Budd Schulberg, Fannie Flagg, Gore Vidal, Danielle Steel, and Alex Haley of Roots fame. Among the students was the young novelist Monte Schulz, son of the creator of Peanuts, who is now the owner of the conference and who has kept it going. Mary’s vision and influence continues through to the current events at the Mar Monte Hotel.
After Barnaby died, Mary collaborated with Matthew J. Pallamary and Y. Armando Nieto, writing and publishing the 622-page history The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook (2017), and she served as executive producer of the documentary film of the same title.
Like Saint Francis of Assisi, Mary also devoted herself to animals, especially dogs and cats. She fell in love with Zorro, a Texas gray fox Barnaby brought home. Zorro became best buddies with Mary’s pug, known as Puggy, and inspired Barnaby to write a children’s book titled Zorro: A Fox in the City (1972). In recent times, Mary left her back door open for a possum she named Possy that enjoyed being patted like any other household pet.
Mary had an artistic side, with a knack for decoupage, needlepoint, and making Christmas ornaments, as well as very clever and inventive dioramas. Her civic work included being an avid supporter of animal welfare, as well as the local fire department, veteran organizations, and cancer research. She volunteered for the annual Amethyst Ball charity held at the Coral Casino.
Mary Nobles Conrad died peacefully on November 1, 2023, at her seaside home, as had her husband of 50 years, Barnaby Conrad Jr., who predeceased her in 2013.
She will be missed by family, friends, scores of writers, and all the animals whose lives she touched with her loving kindness. We will remember her well and carry her legacy into the future.
¡Vaya con Dios, Madre! Mother Superior has left the building.
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