Power to the Dolphins

As you know, dolphins have been victimized by humans for thousands of years. The dolphin statue down by Stearns Wharf is a harsh reminder of the oppression suffered by those lovable porpoises. Every time I see the dolphin statue down by the wharf in Santa Barbara, I become infuriated, reminded of how much pain and suffering humans have brought to dolphins over the ages.

Tonight, me and some of my friends are going to get real angry. We’re going to march through the streets, yell really loud, smash up some shops and windows …  and then, we’re gonna go to that big oppressive dolphin statue down by the pier, and we’re gonna tear it down.

Freedom for dolphins now! Dolphin-safe tuna now!