To abstain without abstaining
You will need a smart scapegoat
Who won’t require much training,
And who won’t emote or gloat.
You see, sometimes our hearts
Motivate our daily actions,
And your non-rational parts
Can cause prejudiced reactions.
When your feelings about chicken
And people who are gay
Cause your brain cobwebs to thicken,
Let Siri show the way!
Zoltar could also help you decide
If the newly proposed patio
Is one that in the law abides
Or if parts of the plan must go.
If Siri and Zoltar are not around,
Try asking the Magic 8 Ball –
Black, small, round, and profound,
With answers that can work for all.
Mix those answers with your feelings
Or pick one some random way,
But keep your personal political leanings,
And abstain from abstaining today.
I will see what I can do
To make these methods official.
Heaven forbid that we make you
Decide alone and be judicial.