Posted on May 15 at 6:09 p.m.

“Never in my life have I heard the 'N word in Carpinteria,”

(N-word) Puhleeze!

“I’ve lived with the pain and happiness of being Chumash,”

(Angling for inclusion in Chumash Tribal handouts from the Casino...)

It's offensive "when Native Americans say it is offensive.”

So What?
Do you speak for all Native Americans? Y'all got together for a Pow Wow and decided?
When does your delicate sensitivities overrule my unalienable right to the pursuit of happiness? What's next? You want to rip the Geranamo tatoo off my butt?

I find Uncle Sam, Leprauchans, Colonel Sanders and Dick Cheney offensive. Should I sue the gub'mint to have pictures of them stricken? (What's Capello's number, he'll take 'em on)

“We’re people, not mascots,”

I agree.

On Warriors Speak Up

Posted on May 13 at 9:52 p.m.

A prime location for a Starbucks or cellphone store.

The evil auto is to blame for sure...people aren't burning up enough shoe leather.

'Course we could probably turn it into an affordable condo and get state credit...

Maybe Dario can figure out how to get three fridges and 30 bodies in there.

On Crispin Leather Closes

Posted on May 10 at 8:48 a.m.

None of the candidates want to challenge the state because the lawyers will sue? Even though they're all against forced mandates? So our choice is one of five gutless wonders...What's this guy Nava's job? Why the hell do we never hear from him on this issue? Isn't he our State Rep? How did he vote or work for this mandate? Or was he too busy pushing through the 15MPH law and attending ribbon cutting ceramonies.? Thank God he's looking out for our safety...

On Five Candidates Vie for the County’s Hottest Supervisorial Seat

Posted on May 7 at 11:01 a.m.

Two things I've learned about these things.

1. Some cop will get a medal of valor for risking life and limb while hiding behind sandbags in his flack jacket.

2. 15 minute, one man jobs will take hours of hand wringing and a dozen city workers to clear up at taxpayer expense.

Don't they train these guys to know the difference between fireworks and a nuclear bomb? Must be why the TSA keeps thinking I'm going to blow up an airplane with a BIC lighter.

On Zap Goes the Bombot

Posted on May 7 at 12:09 a.m.

So...uhh Ray,

I guess my 600cc, 4stroke, single thumper Yamadog is out of the question forever huh...some multiuse policy...how 'bout if I run it on ethanol?

On Why Mountain Bikes Need Regulating

Posted on March 27 at 11:52 p.m.

170,000 employees for a mere 220,00 students?...and one of those employees is making $828,000 each year???

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW THIS STATE IS BEING RAPED BY THE BUREAUROCRATS AND EMPLOYEE UNIONS.

NOW SB HIRES A STICK UP ARTIST FOR $180k A YEAR TO READ A FINANCIAL SPREADSHEETS? BECAUSE THE LAST $140k A YEAR GUY COULDN'T?

WITH A 50% HS DROP OUT RATE, WHY ARE WE PAYING THESE FAILURES ANYTHING??

SAME WITH SANCHEZ. $200K+ A YEAR PLUS ALL HIS $100k A YEAR COPS CAN'T CONTROL 100 GANG MEMBERS???

IS THERE NO ACCOUTABILITY ANYWHERE IN THIS F'D UP COUNTY/STATE?

AND YOU WANT US TO PAY MORE TAX THROUGH MEASURE A ???

On UC Names New President

Posted on March 27 at 4:06 p.m.

Ok Nixster,

I see your Lee... and raise you a list of ~200 murderers with the middle name "Wayne"

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html...

The solution to the mental health budget is to buy 2800 one-way tickets to Washington D.C. and let them run Congress...They couldn't do any worse.

On Dog Eat Dog, or K-9 Kannibalism

Posted on December 29 at 8:16 a.m.

Hmmmm...The Good Land should change to The Land of the Good. Maybe the Real Estate Gurus will finally start pushing home valuation here the same as the dumpy old neighborhoods of San Roque and the Mesa.

On The Slime of Santa Barbara

Posted on December 20 at 2:41 p.m.

I resolve that the next Resolution should be:

We, the employees, of Santa Babylon hereby resolve to change the State motto from "Eureka" to:

"Budgets? Budgets? We dont need no stinkin' budgets!"

Meanwhile, our local budget problems can be fixed by changing all speed limits in the county to 15mph.

All traffic fines will be disbursed equally to all residents thus obviating the need for developer and county subsidised "affordable housing". Not to mention the rush of "For Sale" signs which will add to the existing supply.

This will also allow us to forgo Measure D fund taxes as the 101 will be plenty wide enough to accomodate the dramatic drop in visitors.

Also "Studies" have shown that slower speeds reduce wear on the roads. In fact, motorist will also be able to reach out and pick weed for us on the side of the "High"way.

Additionally, in light of yesterdays tragic accident, all left turns will be made illegal.

On Smoochin’ the Pooch

Posted on December 19 at 5:04 p.m.

Bill? 4:29 am? Did you read that recent piece on sleep? :-)

I wasn't going to rule Nava Boy out till I went to his web site and read up on the hard hitting legislation he introduced this year. Apparently the 15 mph rule is the one of the few one he can brag about...

To give credit though, the lead ammo ban was not bad.

On Slow to Crawl