A Teen Drinking Primer
Partying at Home
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saint Patrick’s Day fell on Thursday of this week. To commemorate this much-treasured ethno-religious holiday, many of us (the teenagers of Santa Barbara) got drunk. Parents and guardians shouldn’t be surprised—42 percent of local juniors have used some kind of no-no substance in the last month, at least according to that California Healthy Kids Survey we all took in 2010.
Add to the holiday spirit the fact that standardized tests are fast-encroaching (SATs may be over, but we still have AP, IB, SAT Subject, and STAR Subject tests to look forward to) and its easy to understand why students feel inclined to blow off a little foam—I mean steam. Those of us who prefer pot to Pabst will be waiting to light up in celebration on April 20 (4/20 Day, a.k.a. Marijuana Appreciation Day), but St. Patty’s Day is all about the alcohol.
By now, if you’re a parent, you’re worried: You mean my little angel is going to kick back a cold one?
Avery Hardy
Here’s the bad news. When we drink, we drink seriously. We’re not fussing around with O’Doul’s or Miller Lite. We like beer (and beer pong) but hard alcohol usually comes through in the end. Half of us drink to get drunk, which can lead to serious developmental problems. It’s already almost common knowledge that teens under age 15 who drink alcohol are up to six times as likely to run into problems like addiction.
But here’s the better news. If your kid’s drinking, there’s a good chance he or she is being pretty safe about it. We Santa Barbarian youth may pride ourselves on our ability to work hard and play hard, but we’re notoriously well bred, too. Two-thirds of us juniors have never ever (not even once!) driven after having a drink, nor been in a car with a driver who’d had a drink. When it comes to alcohol, we’re more about the hedonistic enjoyment than filling the gaping hole inside our deepy-weepy angsty teenage hearts.
I don’t mean to advocate for underage drinking. When it comes down to it, teenage drinking is illegal. Drinking also isn’t a graduated privilege like driving, where you get your permit and then a provisional license and then your full license.
At the same time, though, factors like our proximity to Isla Vista don’t bode well for good decision-making. Parents need to be aware of this. Alcohol is present, it is accessible, and it is fun for teens (either for the sensation of intoxication or the “forbidden fruit” of doing something you’re not supposed to do).
Some parents are adopting the strategy of allowing their teens to drink alcohol and even throw parties at home, under their supervision. Obviously, there’s a lot of gray area here. It’s hard for parents to ensure that all the teens who attend have permission to drink under their roof. Beyond that, it’s illegal in the unincorporated areas of the county, thanks to the “social host” ordinance that holds parents legally responsible if they provide alcohol, even indirectly, to minors, in a social setting, even within the confines of the home. In other words, it’s still breaking the law to let your kid and his or her friends pop back a couple White Russians.
But this is a trend that’s not to be ignored. While fewer teens today drink than in 1980, those who do drink are more likely to be binge drinkers. A parent can help teens regulate how much they drink. It’s hard to say whether or not parents who let their teens drink at home are actually present the whole time, or whether there’s a well-deserved trust that the teens will respect reasonable limits. Even so, though, any teenager knows that the sheer presence of an adult changes the dynamic. You aren’t going to be jumping off the roof into the swimming pool at three in the morning. You won’t be lighting anyone’s foliage on fire. There’s a new limit in place—unspoken, but still enforced—of reasonable behavior, even under the influence.
Also, drinking alcohol that parents have provided is a lot less questionable than slurping from a communal empty water bottle filled from some rubbing alcohol-resemblant mix of gin, vodka, and mystery liqueur. We teens often go for the cheapest and (usually) lowest quality stuff we can find, just so long as it can get the job done. Adults have learned to be more discriminating and safer with their choices. And if things somehow take a turn for the worse and someone needs medical attention, an adult is a lot better equipped to handle the situation than a teen is.
Kids who drink at home aren’t going to be on the streets at night, and since traffic accidents are the biggest concern with underage drinking in Santa Barbara (according to SBPD Lieutenant Paul McCaffrey), this is at least a step toward fewer accidents. True, few parents are handing out permission slips for their teens to pass out to friends, to regulate whose parents approve of them drinking. But which is riskier: a small group of teens drinking in a residential neighborhood with a parent around, or a group of kids swishing down some unknown liquor from a bottle wrapped in a paper bag on State Street at 11 p.m. on a Friday night?
Comments
Wow, an article advocating teenaged partying/drinking? I am a bit surprised to see this...
I do believe that like credit, responsible use of alcohol and the reason to avoid drugs is something that parents are responsible for teaching their children prior to setting them free in the adult world. BUT I believe that it is NOT a parent's job, or right, to teach it to other people's children. When my son was a teenager I took him to Europe for a trip and while there we observed their culture and he did drink on a couple of occassions when it was appropriate. Also at a family wedding I had actually asked my family to get him drunk, while in the safety of all of us, so he could learn to identify what being drunk felt like and begin the process of learning where his limit is. The goal was to have him throwing up and we accomplished it and he learned a lot from it. However, his friends weren't present and it was viewed more as the family helping him to learn that while alcohol in moderation can feel good, being drunk has dangers associated with it. At 22 years old now my son seldom drinks and when he does he doesn't drink a lot and best of all, he knows how to tell when his friends have had too much. He is prepared to watch for the danger signals of alcohol and drug overdose. I did my job in that regard. However, I would never think it is okay for me to buy or provide alcohol for someone else's teenager... it is not about being a "cool" parent, it's about teaching our own kids.
santabarbarasand (anonymous profile)
March 19, 2011 at 8:59 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Parents teaching their teens to drinking responsibly and in the correct settings is probably okay. Parents throwing keggers for their teens and all their friends, probably not okay.
Num1UofAn (anonymous profile)
March 19, 2011 at 10:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Meh, I know some parents who have thrown parties for their kids and their friends on the weekends. They know all the guests, it doesn't get out of hand, and they don't let them drive home drunk. Sounds pretty good to me.
Like they said on Glee last week, trying to stop teenagers from having sex (or drinking, for that matter), is like trying to turn a lion into a vegetarian. It's just not very practical.
loonpt (anonymous profile)
March 21, 2011 at 1:46 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I drank when I was a teenager. I was a binge drinker starting at 12 and for the last few years I've been a happy, sober, recovering alcoholic. I agree that you can't stop kids from doing stuff because they're curious and going to want to do it anyway. Looking back, my parents did what this wonderful young reporter suggested: they let us drink at home and sometimes would allow other kids to do so as well but mostly it was only their own teens. We thought this was great and thought our parents were so cool for allowing this.
One thing that was missing was talk about WHY we felt the need to drink, check out, not be 'present' at a party when there were tons of friends around, although our bodies were there, our minds were clearly not so much. In recovery, there's alot of talk about 'resentments' and working the steps to see what they are, why they're there and who they're directed towards. Most people are surprised to see how many resentments are directed at themselves.
At first, I disagreed that resentments were the reason I drank but after some time, it's more clear to me than ever. Many say that drugs and alcohol aren't the core issue: they're the result of underlying discomfort i.e. resentments (along with selfishness and self-centeredness). If I would have known to ask for counseling to work out these issues, I'd like to think that I would have. Until the age of 18, it's actually the parents responsibility to know this and get help for their teen because after 18, you're on your own!
Avery, I appreciate your viewpoint and glad that you get to express it in the Indy. You did a public service by beginning the discussion. It's a subject that deserves to get some attention and discourse. It's also somewhat complicated and I agree that the parent's responsibility is at the core of the conversation. Kids drinking to excess at such an early age should be a big warning sign. Taking the time to explore WHY they're doing this (at all) is something that deserves to be looked at.
For what it's worth, I know many kids who who grew up without feeling the need to explore drugs and alcohol, whatsoever. Are they better, more well-adjusted? I'm not sure but I know they're not abusing their bodies with toxic substances and they never have to worry about driving impaired (and possibly killing themselves and/or others as a result of that choice). Unfortunately, I was not one of them and allowed myself to stay uncomfortable for a very long time before I sought help.
santabanana (anonymous profile)
March 21, 2011 at 3:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I was and am a Freak!
I don't drink, not even Champagne on New Years or even wine coolers. Why you may ask? Both my parents were partiers since childhood and as our family grew so did their need to drink to stupidity. Now I have a Father w/ Alzheimer's disease and my Mother died from Liver failure in 1999.
I always prided myself for being a Tee-Toddler but often was shunned by nearly everyone in my age bracket as being a "Bummer". I now am happy to report that I have no Alzheimer's disease or Dementia, and 99% liver which is more than I can say for anyone I have met all my life.
I understand that anything that is considered against the law or illegal is open range for the youth of the world and as time goes on the age range will grow and younger children will become Acoholic's and Drug Abusers. "Laws are meant to be broken", any rebellious persons code of conduct.
dou4now
dou4now (anonymous profile)
March 26, 2011 at 7:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
dou4now: I don't drink either, and that (and admittedly other things) =my not having lots of friends, but at the few that I have are dependable.
I'm not interested in hangovers, killing brain cells, getting into fights, and killing people with my car (or worse yet, maiming them for life) as a result of going along with the trendy practice of boozing it up.
No alcohol means much less drama and worries, and as I pointed out in another blog, not waking up next to a stranger and asking myself "was it good for me".
I realize this offends the "wine tasting" crowd (boo hoo) who apparently think that dulling their reflexes and impairing their judgment makes them cool, cultured, and part of the "in crowd" but as I say, my life has a lot less overhead as a result and I like being able to appreciate simple things without putting poison into my body.
billclausen (anonymous profile)
March 28, 2011 at 2:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)