May 20, 2010

I dedicate my life to spreading the message of animal consciousness. I believe that any human can benefit from clear communication, whether it is with our own species or with the animals we share our planet with.

I feel that when we are given a gift (like animal communication) we have a responsibility to make the world a better place. I write, I make videos, I go on radio, and I see private clients. Often I think I don’t have much of a life outside of work. But it seems that business and pleasure mix. I do love my work.

Yesterday afternoon, I heard some bad news. A venture I was going after was not going to happen just yet and another project I have been working on made me discouraged and unsatisfied. I got frustrated. I even cried. That evening, I drove to the mountain with my dogs and pleaded to my higher power, “What do you want of me? You give me this gift and then things don’t happen. I am tired. What do you want me to do? I work hard. Why isn’t it paying off?”

Then I remembered that every day I either hear or read words to the effect of, “Thank you, you are amazing, gifted, blessed, an angel.” Sounds good, doesn’t it? On the very same day I can also very easily read, “You are a crazy person, a liar or schizophrenic, delusional.” Once I even read, “You’re a slithering snake tongue.”

Yesterday, I felt like my life was on a sailboat on a windy day and somehow I got stuck, frozen, with my sails locked, unable to catch the breeze. I worked so hard to set myself free. I forced myself to look at the day again and I remembered that earlier, when I was on the phone and driving to a client’s house, a phone number from out of the country kept ringing in. I could not pick up because I was already on the phone and did I not have the time.

All of sudden my car started beeping and the tire-pressure gauge came on, saying my left rear driver’s-side tire only had 13 psi. I got off the phone, car beeping incessantly, orange lights flashing on the dash, and pulled off the freeway and into a gas station. I got out of the car. Tire didn’t look flat. I manually checked the tire. 40 psi. I checked all the tires. All fine.

As soon as I got back on the freeway, warning lights still flashing but no beeping, my phone rang again with the out-of-country number. “There is a reason,” I thought. “I’ve got to get this.” It was a couple from England. They were in the veterinary office, crying, and trying to get the strength to help their kitty go. I had received a picture via email of their cat a few days earlier. I remembered him because he was unique looking, long, blonde, delicate, and wise. Through tears, his people talked about not being able to do it. “Is he in pain?” I asked.

“I want my wife to know our cat loves her,” the husband wept. While-driving is not the best time to talk to an animal, but how could I not? The cat was eager to speak. “Tell them I am ready to die,” the cat told me. “I am not scared. I will miss sleeping between them.” And as I pulled into my client’s driveway, he said, “Tell my mom I love her more than all the stars in the sky and that is a lot, because you can’t even count them all.”

As I looked upon that day I ask myself, “Do I really believe my Higher Power has abandoned me and my gifts? Who else could make my tire gauge give warning when nothing was wrong? Did it not get me off the first call and onto the other where I was needed the most?” My tire was never flat and the light never went on again.

I’ll keep working and where I am heading will remain a mystery. But at times like those that I am convinced there is a divine plan.

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