The Mythical Cougar

Ok, I know there's a joke here with a punchline that ends with "herding cougars"...

I am of cougar age and I love deliciously attractive young men, just not in bed. I'm talking about the young professional bucks I've worked with: smart, talented, and adorably confused by the whole male/female negotiations. I love being so candid with them (I'm a CA expat in the midwest so it is effortless to stir up reaction). I love laughing, joking, flirting just a little. Maybe sometimes, I might check out their butt. That's all for this cougar.

your generalizations about women being or not being cougars and young men with six packs is far from describing the realities of these situations which will never be real on a 'reality show'. I usually steer clear of your articles, but was interested because of my experience in this matter.

Cougar, cougar, burning bright
In the forests of the night
What tricks you play to catch the eye
Of the sexy younger guy.

Apologies to William Blake, I just couldn't help myself.

young guys hump cougars. they don't date them. why? cause they're old and they could do better.

Just wanted to say I love your description of why older guys are sexy and I wholeheatedly agree.
I'm the right age to be a cougar but being happily married and the mom of young kids, I'm about as far from the cougar scene as it's possible to get. But whether it's on TV or in real life, the whole cougar thing is just sad, pathetic -- someguy (above) explains why.

i think someguy's saying that the *cougars* could do better. right, someguy?

I'm saying younger guys could do better than some old cougie. Younger guys want to hump cougars as a novelty, maybe cause they have some money and will take care of them and in part to fulfill their Mrs. Robinson fantasy. Nobody dates cougars for real.They hump them. That is all.

Cougars are sad women who fill their lives with high-fashion, fake racks and young men all in an effort to makeup for the fact that they never grew up and are out getting drunk in clubs going on the 20th year straight. They are the drunk, slutty chicks that never grew up. God how I love them so!

Cougars have less sex than advertised because women's drive is weaker than men's. Women love to be sexy, but they lack the drive that men feel beginning at age 12. Case in point: The average lesbian couple stops having regular after six months of dating--quite different from gay men. With diet, exercise, and sex, many women are all purr and no bite.

Gee, what a load a crap. The article and the comments.
Someguy, ANY woman that you've described will ONLY get humped, no matter what age. And the dude doing the humping isn't any better.

To everyone else. These labels are fogging up the fact that two people are attracted to each other for myriad complex reasons. In some cases neither cares how many times the other has experienced the full set of four seasons.

Ladies, the term "Cougar" is fun to play around with, but if taken seriously, hmm....check out your self esteem, the tank may be on empty. There is so much more to each of us, men and women, that defies any labels.

I'm just explaining what the term cougar means. I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

Although it feels right...

When I was 34 I dated a guy who was 26, but I don't know if that's quite "cougar" territory. Nevertheless, there were a few nice things. First of all, we could both just have fun together and not have as much pressure about "where the relationship was going." Obviously that's not something most of us want all the time or long term, but it can still be fun sometimes.

Also, as a woman who's completing a PhD and is athletic and outspoken, I found that some men my age can be competitive or easily intimidated. This wasn't a factor with the younger guy, partially due to his personality. But I think that when the guy is younger, he's more likely to be OK with a strong woman if he's dating someone older. Plus, we both knew that of course he doesn't have a lot of money, a house, or an established career yet, because he wasn't at that place in his life yet. Women my age are more likely to be OK with a less wealthy or established guy if we're dating someone younger, and from what I've heard in Santa Barbara women like us can be hard to find. Anyway, I think younger guys in general are more comfortable with strong women because they were more likely to be raised by single mothers or by mothers who work. Sometimes I think the whole "women's lib" thing messed up the guys who are now 30-somethings the most, because they grew up with traditional ideas about masculinity but also grew up in a time when those weren't really working or acceptable anymore. This might have made women like me more amenable to dating outside of our age range.

So while this isn't something I have repeated, it's not something I regret either. People date for a variety of reasons, and dating someone who is a different age can be more challenging or even more limiting in some ways, but there also might be times when it works for some people.

What's the big deal? Years ago, a guy my age (he was 24 at the time) was dating a 36 year old woman. One day, his mother said to me words to the following effect: "I really like her, but she is TWELVE years older than him". I told her, "Don't worry, right now she's 50% older than him but in 12 years she will only be a third older than him and the percentage age gap will keep getting smaller as time goes on...in fact if they stay together long enough, he will catch up to her in age and end up being older than her".

On another note: I know a couple that are almost 12 years apart (she was born in 1952 he was born in 1964) and they've been together since about 1991 and they get along much better than just about any couple I know. They are compatible on every level. Why should they break up just to please tradition?

"I'm saying younger guys could do better than some old cougie."

Yeah, I know. I was making fun of you. Sorry it flew right over your head. Maybe when you reach your full height...