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    Pop Goes the Kids' Bop

    Is Children's Music Just Priming Them for Dreck?


    Tuesday, December 23, 2008
    By Starshine Roshell (Contact)
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    It niggles at me all day long. It's poking at my poor, feeble cerebrum even as I try to write this column. And if it were something great-if it were Ray Charles or Led Zeppelin or Elvis Costello-I would welcome the distraction.

    But it's not. It's an artless song about bowling by a bush-league children's rock group whose name I won't tell you because I want to say quite a few more rude things about them. Like this: They are to music what Pop-Tarts are to breakfast. A queasying excuse for substance.

    Starshine Roshell

    Someone gave us the band's CD, and I made the mistake of playing it during carpool one morning to keep the little ones happy. Now it's stuck on "random repeat" in my head. (And note that the ability to invade one's brain does not a meritorious ditty make.)

    Kids like it because the lyrics, although clumsy, are quite literal. They enjoy the unremarkable singer's Disney-esque vocal stylings as she faux-emotes about pizza, dogs, and gutter balls. They're fond of the kooky, colorful CD cover.

    I hate it for all the same reasons. From Mister Rogers to Raffi, from the Wiggles to Barney to those icky spiritual vegetables, the crowded "children's music" genre echoes with too many preachy, soul-less tunes performed by people whose inexplicable grins are eerily audible as they croon.

    Wiggle me this: Why can't kids just listen to real music?

    It's true that we introduce our kids to reading via children's books, and we initiate them into the cinema with children's movies. But we needn't ease them so gently-so childishly-into the world of music, because music can be appreciated, enjoyed, and even, on some level, "understood," by listeners of any age or maturity.

    Our response to music isn't intellectual, it's visceral. And when you flood kids' virgin eardrums with "Toot Toot, Chugga Chugga, Big Red Car," you're really just priming them for dreck.

    Not all kids' bands are awful, of course. I can't get behind my grown-up friends who listen to Choo Choo Soul and the Laurie Berkner Band when their kids aren't even around. But I'm fond of Schoolhouse Rock and Trout Fishing in America, both of which-like all good art-affect us in layers.

    Music should give us something to delight in right this minute, and keep providing interest each time we hear it-even if the interest on the 43rd listen is just nostalgia for the rhymes, rhythms, harmonies, and metaphors we discovered over the first 42 times.

    You want simple melodies and arrangements for your kids? Try the Beatles, Pete Seeger, or "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." You like bright and happy? Play ABBA, the Beach Boys, Jason Mraz, or the soundtrack for Hairspray. For straight-up silly, you can't beat the Talking Heads, Barenaked Ladies, or Prince's "Kiss."

    Music is a treasure hunt. Every listen should take you closer to finding that one genre, that band, or even that singular song that synchs up with your psyche and ignites an unnamable joy that starts in your ears and spreads to your head, chest, hips, and toes. It should move you. It should exhilarate you.

    And Barney can't do that.

    My oldest son wasn't three days old before we discovered-out of sheer desperation-that he would stop crying and become utterly, blissfully lost in Kool & the Gang's "Jungle Boogie." Now, I'm not saying he's a better person because of his early exposure to funk. Or because he prefers, to this day, to hear a growly "Git uppa with the git down!" than a perky "Bowling, bowling with you."

    I'm just saying if something has to get stuck in my head :

    Related Links

    • More Starshine columns at independent.com

    Starshine Roshell is the author of Keep Your Skirt On, a book of columns available at area bookstores and at KeepYourSkirtOn.com

    Story Help (Click-ability)
    Double-clicking on any word or phrase in this story will open a reference window with definitions and links to other reference material.

    Comments

    Discussion Guidelines

    If you want to turn your kids on to something good musically, check out the following link. It's a good way to get kids interested in classical music and the way an orchestra works.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_an...)

    Holly (anonymous profile)
    December 24, 2008 at 4:59 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Starshine,
    You son is undoubtedly a better person for his early exposure to funk. And so is everyone else with such enlightened 'rents!

    Happy Holidays!

    niceFLguy (anonymous profile)
    December 24, 2008 at 7:20 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    You can turn your children away from all types of musical genre, but in the end, it's their own internal "musical" ear that steers them toward what they find enjoyable. Nice try, though.

    BriMo72 (anonymous profile)
    December 24, 2008 at 10:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    I believe that exposure to *good* music not only has positive intellectual benefits, but positive social ones as well. Furthermore, to have them listening at the youngest age possible is a good thing.

    Peter and the Wolf is a great start since it is a narrated introduction to music geared toward kids, and of course music that stirs positive emotions is good. (Not the processed American Idol-like fluff that is a dime, and not the *music* that relies more upon gimmicks and synthesizers than God-given talent)

    Never underestimate your kids' ability to learn, even if it appears they aren't picking up what is being taught. The subconcious mind is very underrated.

    billclausen (anonymous profile)
    December 24, 2008 at 3:03 p.m. (Suggest removal)

    Thank you for writing about dumbing down music for kids! Let's be friends! I often rail at people who think the environment has to dumbed down just because children have come into the room, Like if I'm watching "House' and the kids come in we must quick change the channel to Tommy the train or some insipid cartoon world... It has been a peeve of mine for quite some time, I do not want to live in a dumbed down child dominated environment, I love kids and they love me, and I think we should challenge them, teach them about real life, and teach them to respect adults and be curious to learn about the real world and not feed them that popular crap! Yes, give them a chance and kids love the Beatles or Tony Bennet. And no Baby talk after 10 months old, don't dumb them down, bring them up!

    micaelm (anonymous profile)
    December 24, 2008 at 8:49 p.m. (Suggest removal)

    Amen to micaelm. Kids are MUCH smarter than people think. I was lucky to have adults who treated me as one of them and who didn't talk down to me.

    Speaking of The Beatles, KTYD is having its annual Beatles' Christmas all through December 25th. For those who are not in S.B., you can listen live on their website www.ktyd.com

    billclausen (anonymous profile)
    December 25, 2008 at 4:38 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    I completely agree with everyone here. Music at a young age can give a child a good sense of who they are even before they can fully appreciate the music that they are listening to. Believe me it has helped me expand my taste in music as I have gotten older. I started out with the popular music when I was younger, and have expanded my taste more and more each year that I get older. I only wish more people my age had been influenced by other music when they were younger.

    calibe24 (anonymous profile)
    December 31, 2008 at 12:08 p.m. (Suggest removal)

    I would guess that reason that the dribble they call kids music is popular is that many parents are culturally deprived, so they have no concept of the arts. I grew up in a family that revered education with parents who had wide cultural interests. I was raised listening to a wide variety of cultural interests and thirst for knowledge. It has stood me well for many years.

    Our culture is so dependent on television and marketing that we have raised a culturally illiterate generation of children who are becoming culturally illiterate adults. Don't believe me? Try sitting in a college classroom with these young people who are used to having everything fed to them and can't create an original thought to save their lives. It took one of my professors almost 4 months to engage a majority of the students in any meaningful discussion. It is sad and frightening as we are becoming a nation of mindless sheep.

    Ex_Inmate (anonymous profile)
    January 2, 2009 at 7:12 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Don't think I ever bought a tape or cd of "children's music". We raised our kids listening to the music we had on in the house. They are now adults and have musical taste spanning decades and genres. They play instruments, perform & write music.

    PS I must take issue with the Beatles having simple melodies or arrangements. Not true as anyone who has performed their songs can tell you. However I do agree this music is perfect for the kiddies.

    I also disagree with Exinmate's assessment of kids today. I know so many of this age and the vast majority are incredibly bright, creative literate, productive.

    river (anonymous profile)
    January 2, 2009 at 11:41 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Amen, Starshine! My youngest sister had the MOST annoying tape (yes - it was the 80s) called "We Sing Silly Songs." I hope someone sued the company for mental distress because they've done a lot of damage to every listener over 3 years old. I think I smashed the tape one day when no one was watching.

    Then again, my mom always played KBIG in the car when I was a kid, and for some reason, I know the lyrics to a lot of Anne Murray songs...

    ukulelegirl (anonymous profile)
    January 3, 2009 at 11:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Great article...I agree completely and can relate. We aren't wiggling in this house, but we do appreciate and get down to Elizabeth Mitchell and our all-time current favorite, SteveSongs. We all love him and though a children's artist, he sings songs for kids AND parents to enjoy. Educational a la School House Rock.

    mom2smc (anonymous profile)
    January 7, 2009 at 8:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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